Rumors flew last year when Alec Baldwin reportedly said he planned to leave 30 Rock at the end of the 2012 season. Some reports said the show would end if he left; others said Tina Fey was leaving too. The latest reports bring it all back into perspective. As far as executive producer Lorne Michaels knows, Fey’s not going anywhere, Baldwin may or may not leave, and no matter what Baldwin decides to do, the show will go on.
And should that be any surprise to us? That a popular series would carry on without one of its major stars?
After all, this season we have not one, but two successful, long-running series continuing without important members of their casts. Steve Carell’s Michael Scott character will be replaced by Robert California (played by James Spader) in The Office, and Ashton Kutcher will replace Charlie Sheen, whose character will be literally killed off, on Two and a Half Men.
It’s a gimmick as old as Dick Sargent playing Darrin #2 on Bewitched. The new characters are sure to add a splash of novelty to these old shows, but come on, how much longer can they possibly last without their main characters?
Let’s look at TV history, shall we? When Cindy Williams left Laverne & Shirley in 1982, the series only lasted one more season before getting cancelled.
When Gabe Kaplan and John Travolta left Welcome Back, Kotter, appearing as occasional guest stars in the fourth season, the show was canned after one year. (Beau De Labarre a Sweathog? Really?)
When Phil Hartman passed away, NewsRadio brought in a replacement, but ultimately the series only lasted—you guessed it—one more year.
And when Howard Hesseman left Head of the Class… well, you get the picture. Let’s not beat this dead horse—the networks are already taking care of that.
So again I ask, with their stars gone, how many more seasons can we expect from The Office and Two and a Half Men,which are entering into their eighth and ninth years, respectively? If the trends of the past are any indication, one.
I understand the mantra that “winners never quit.” But when applied to a TV show, that philosophy has a tendency to turn winners into losers. It’s a popular trap for sitcoms to fall into: the longer they go, the more outlandish they get. And by the final season they’re hollow shells of what they used to be.
The first example that springs to mind is the ABC sitcom Family Matters. It went through quite the metamorphosis in its nine-year run. Though early on it was fairly realistic—about as realistic as slapstick ever gets—by the end, Steve Urkel had cloned himself, transformed his clone into the cool Stefan Urquelle, gotten engaged to Laura Winslow, and invented dozens of impossible gadgets and gizmos that could easily have made him a billionaire if not for the inevitable kinks they always came with. The show became science fiction and beared little resemblance to its earlier years, when Steve was just the annoying neighbor and Laura wanted nothing to do with him.
Another classic example is 7th Heaven. Come on! That show wouldn’t quit! Our family stopped watching after season six, when Robbie was practically adopted into the Camden family, Mary and Lucy were fighting over him, Matt married a Jewish girl he’d known for one day, and Simon was involved in a televised police chase because his grandpa told him to keep driving. The show was nonsense and we were sure it wouldn’t last much longer. But it kept going. Five more years.
What I’m saying is, too many good shows refuse to pull the plug until they’re already past their prime. They drag on for so long that they become laughingstocks, losing the respect they worked so hard to obtain.
That’s why I admire the few series that keep their integrity and end on a high note. Jerry Seinfeld was reportedly offered $110 million to do a tenth season of Seinfeld, but he declined the offer because he wanted to go out on top. (His show was #1 in the ratings—how do you top that?)
The first series to go off the air at #1 was I Love Lucy in 1957; the second was The Andy Griffith Show in 1968. And after a 30-year gap, Seinfeld became the third and last series on the list, which goes to show that when a sitcom hits #1, the last thing networks want to do is cancel it. Instead, they exploit it.
Can The Office function without Michael Scott?
Sure, winners never quit, but when you’re receiving Emmys and topping the Nielsens, the race is over and you’ve already won. So take your medal and go home. Challenging your opponents to multiple rematches will only tire you out, and eventually you’re going to lose, especially with the extra hurdles of departed cast members.
At some point you've got to ask, can this show really get any better? And if the answer is no, then end it while you're still proud of it.
Two and a Half Men has lasted eight seasons, and that’s a feat for any series. What do you think? Is the race over? Should it and The Office be put out of their misery before they ruin themselves? Or will the new cast members be a change in pace that fuels them to the finish line?
You can’t judge a book by its cover, but no one ever said you can’t judge a sitcom by its trailer.
Welcome to the first annual Lineup Roundup, where I predict the staying power of the new fall comedies solely on the basis of their ads. Here’s how the game works—after viewing all the promotional materials I can find for each show, I rate the series on the following scale:
Built to Last – All the makings of a long-running hit
Shows Promise – Not a knockout, but looks funny
Mercy Vote – Probably won’t last beyond the first season
Going Nowhere – Don’t even bother. There will be no episode two.
Then I defend my rating. Quite simple, really. (I’m only hitting the major networks’ live-action shows because I don’t have cable and, well, it makes things easier.)
Remember, kids, this is just for funsies. These are predictions, not mandates. Shows evolve and improve all the time, and with TV, anything can happen. So let’s begin!
Up All Night. **Shows Promise**
A career mom, a stay-at-home dad, and an unplanned newborn who can’t stay asleep. This Lorne Michaels series takes a look at one couple’s transition from wild partiers to responsible parents. When Reagan (Christina Applegate) has to go back to work and Chris (Will Arnett) has to baby-sit solo, they soon discover that maturity is a lot harder than it looks. Maya Rudolph co-stars as Ava, Reagan’s boss and kooky best friend.
For my personal tastes, ehh, it’s all right. It looks funny. What concerns me, though, is that the entire premise, including the title, lacks foresight. Eventually these parents are going to learn to cope with their new roles, right? They can’t flounder forever. And eventually that baby’s going to be old enough to stay asleep. So, are the writers going to continually invent new reasons for the couple to be “up all night”? Will they have a new baby every season? How long can that go on? Aside from that gripe, the show’s got star power in its favor, and its single-camera, documentary-esque comedy style reminds me of Arrested Development and Modern Family. So I think it’s got a shot.
Network: NBC
Time Slot: Wednesdays at 8/7c
Premieres: Sept. 14
Free Agents. Going Nowhere
Alex (Hank Azaria) is a recent divorcé. Helen (Kathryn Hahn) is a widow. Neither of them is ready to move on. But when these two co-workers end up in bed together, suddenly Alex wants a relationship while Helen wants to be friends. Another sexual encounter later, and they’re not really sure what they are anymore.
If this show is trying to put a new spin on the “will they or won’t they” romantic tension story, it has failed. Casual sex is a poor substitute for winsome flirting, and the premise is better suited for a movie than a TV series. But my real issue with the show is the weak male hero. The previews show two clips of him crying—realistically—for laughs. I don’t know how those things even go together. A man crying just makes me sad. It doesn’t strike me as funny whatsoever. Overall, the characters seem uninteresting, and I don’t care to involve myself in their crazy lives. Thirteen episodes are already scheduled for the first season, but I do not foresee an episode fourteen.
Network: NBC
Time Slot: Wednesdays at /7:30c
Premieres: Sept. 14
2 Broke Girls. **Shows Promise**
Max (Kat Dennings) has been poor all her life, so she has very little sympathy for Caroline (Beth Behrs), a former billionaire who recently lost all her money. They work together as waitresses in a New York diner and end up roommates with only one thing in common—they’re both broke.
Okay, I’m biased. I’m a big Kat Dennings fan, and I was tempted to rate this as Built to Last because of my own wishful thinking. Then I had it at Mercy Vote for a while, but I bumped it up to Shows Promise, and here’s why. The characters are real. They’re not the well-off women of privilege you usually see on TV. They’re working women struggling to make the rent every month. The humor may be a little mediocre at times, but I find myself interested in where this friendship is going. And I think the premise has a lot of potential. Caroline and Max come from different worlds and have a lot to teach each other. I’ve heard comparisons to The Odd Couple and Laverne & Shirley, but it reminds me more of Perfect Strangers—two average Joes from different cultures, learning about each other’s way of life. 2 Broke Girls might just make it after all.
Network: CBS
Time Slot: Mondays at 8:30/7:30c
Premieres: Sept. 19
New Girl. **Shows Promise**
Zooey Deschanel (500 Days of Summer) is Jess, a girl who decides to move in with three guys from Craigslist after being dumped by her boyfriend. She’s cute and a little offbeat, and she needs serious help getting over her ex. That’s where her new roommates come in. They may not know much about living with an emotional female, but they’re ready to learn.
Deshanel has a lot of personality, sort of like Sandra Bullock. She’s the very funny girl next door. The success of this series will largely depend on the audience’s opinion of her. If you ask me, the main character is hilariously charming, and this series is going places.
Network: FOX
Time Slot: Tuesdays at 9/8c
Premieres: Sept. 20
Whitney. ***Built to Last***
Whitney’s a modern, opinionated gal living with Alex (Chris D’Elia), her boyfriend of three years. They go against convention and live life their own way. And they’d be lost without each other.
Just like New Girl, the success of this series is going to depend on the audience’s response to its star, Whitney Cummings. She’s a mixture of Rosie O’Donnell’s obnoxiousness and Lucille Ball’s screwball comedy, but… in a good way. Her gigantic personality will either charm viewers or scare them off quickly, and it’ll be interesting to see the outcome. But regardless of the star, the premise itself intrigues me. It’s ultimately an examination of social mores. The times are changing, and Whitney asks the question—what’s “traditional” anymore? One scene from the pilot shows Whitney putting on a yellow dress since “you can’t wear white to a wedding.” But when she shows up, the bride is wearing yellow, too. And she’s ticked! The show makes you question those ideas that are always taken for granted, and gives you a few laughs along the way. Cummings might have to tone down her character a smidge, but the concept has a bright future ahead.
Network: NBC
Time Slot: Thursdays at /8:30c
Premieres: Sept. 22
Suburgatory. *Mercy Vote*
Worried that his teenage daughter isn’t being brought up right, a single father (Jeremy Sisto) moves them from Manhattan to the suburbs. But it’s not the suburbs of Father Knows Best. It’s an eerily perfect place where everyone is rich, snobby, and plastic. And these city folk aren’t sure they fit in.
What I’m wondering is, what suburbs are those? Where the heck are they? I grew up in the ‘burbs, and they were nowhere near as hellish as this show portrays them to be. Okay, okay, it’s a satire, I know. Just sayin’. The show is narrated by the daughter, Tessa (Jane Levy), in such a way that reminds me of Malcolm in the Middle. I found some of the trailers humorous, but only in the interactions between Tessa and her dad. Unfortunately, that’s not what the show is about. It’s primarily about how they adjust to life in their Beverly Hills-like suburban town. But none of the suburbanites are real enough to be likeable. I give it a year.
Network: ABC
Time Slot: Wednesdays at /7:30c
Premieres: Sept. 28
How to be a Gentleman. Going Nowhere
In this modern-day Odd Couple, gentle manners columnist Andrew (David Hornsby) runs into his tough former high-school bully Bert (Kevin Dillon) at the gym, and an unlikely friendship is born. Bert takes it upon himself to teach Andrew how to be a man, while Andrew teaches Bert how to be a gentleman.
The premise is reasonable enough, but I’m not interested in caricatures. And that’s what Andrew and Bert are—caricatures. They’re “types” with no real goals or aspirations to give their characters humanity. Their points of view are entirely predictable. Consider this exchange from the pilot: Andrew says of a female neighbor, “I kill many of her bugs.” Bert replies, “You should be taking off many of her pants.” Don’t get too attached; this show will be canceled in no time.
Network: CBS
Time Slot: Thursdays at /7:30c
Premieres: Sept. 29
Last Man Standing. **Shows Promise**
Mike Baxter (Tim Allen), a married father of three and the marketing director for an outdoor sporting goods store, lives in a house full of women. He doesn’t always understand them, and they rarely understand him; nevertheless, they must learn to coexist peaceably as a family.
If you took Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor in all his grunting glory, but removed the male friends from his life, he wouldn’t be the same ToolMan. That’s the dynamic addressed by Last Man Standing. Mike is a manly guy living with four females, and he’s in desperate need of a male support group. Allen told ClevverTV that he is fascinated with the communication between the sexes, and I have a feeling this fascination will play a major role in the series’ humor. I’m looking forward to the results. The show isn’t just about Mike clinging to his masculinity, but also the role women play in making men feel manly. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ll be able to relate to something in this show.
Network: ABC
Time Slot: Tuesdays at 8/7c
Premieres: Oct. 11
Man Up! *Mercy Vote*
Will’s a husband and father, Craig’s a single musician, and Kenny’s a pudgy divorcé. They’re three best friends at different stages in their lives, all trying to figure out what it means to be a man. Yet every time they take charge and act manly, they massively screw up. But it’s okay. At least they’ve got each other.
This one’s more for the guys than the girls, so it’s not much of a surprise that I’m not interested in it. It could be a funny buddy comedy, or it could be a complete failure. It’s hard to tell which it will be. With only the commercials to go on, I expect it will be a one-season wonder.
Network: ABC
Time Slot: Tuesdays at /7:30c
Premieres: Oct. 18
I Hate My Teenage Daughter. Going Nowhere
Annie (Jaime Pressly) and Nikki (Katie Finneran) are best friends and single mothers whose teenage daughters make them feel insignificant, just like the mean girls in high school used to. In an attempt to give their girls the privileges they never had, these moms have inadvertently created two spoiled monsters.
I find no humor in a show glorifying disrespectful teens, and I hope the American public feels the same. The trailer only frustrates me. A mother who is afraid to punish her child is pitiful, sad, not funny. I hate their teenage daughters, too! And thus, I won’t be watching. Will anyone?
A joke from TheEllen Degeneres Show reminded me of an issue that used to bug the heck out of me. No, it was nothing political, nothing social, nothing along those lines. Ellen was talking about the phasing out of TV theme songs.
“We don’t have time to sit through anything. Sitcoms… when I was growing up, there were full-on theme songs,” said the three-piece-suit-clad comedienne. “Now the songs before a show starts are just ‘bah bow!’ and then they’re in the kitchen talking.”
Degeneres makes the point that viewers’ attention spans are too short to focus on theme songs anymore. If the opening credits last longer than ten seconds, we’ve already changed the channel.
I, too, once thought the lack of decently-lengthed theme songs was some kind of conspiracy. Perhaps a negative reflection of our postmodern society and its severe ADD.
But the real reason, according to writers CarterBays and Craig Thomas, creators of How I Met Your Mother, is that TV shows themselves are getting shorter, and commercial breaks are getting longer, so every second of airtime is precious.
That’s why the 12-second opening to How I Met Your Mother got cut down to six seconds for syndication.It’s also where shows like Gilmore Girls and 30 Rock got their quick-witted reputations.
"30 Rock's fast-talking style comes from the fact that our show needs to be two and a half minutes longer than it is,” said creator/writer Tina Fey. “I'm trying to fit five pounds' worth of ideas into a two-pound bag."
Timing issues aren’t a new problem for the television industry, but oddly enough, the concern used to be filling up the time.
Actors Bob Denver and Dawn Wells were such fast talkers that episodes of Gilligan’s Island frequently came up too short. Likewise, editors on The Monkees sometimes made such tight cuts to the episodes that the boys had to film spontaneous interviews at the end to fill up the extra time. Ever watch The Andy Griffith Show? Man, they talked slooooow down in Mayberry, didn’t they? Their scripts were deliberately written shorter so that the slow-talking, Southern-drawled actors could pause and speak at their natural pace.
“When we did shows that had (musical) entertainment in it… it also made it a lot easier on the writer,” said Carl Reiner, creator/writer of The Dick Van Dyke Show. “We used to have to write 27 minutes of show, and when you had three or four musical numbers, you only had to write about 16 minutes of show.”
Comedies today run about 21 and a half minutes long. And in all that time, the writers have to introduce the main plot and subplots, make the characters debate, feature some false highs or false lows, throw in a few twists, and arrive at a decent conclusion, sometimes tying a lesson from the subplot in with the main plot. Oh yeah, and it all has to be funny. With that kind of a time crunch, it’s no surprise theme songs are getting nixed to make room for more story.
With this knowledge in mind, I’m kind of astounded by any modern show that still does a traditional theme song, the kind that’s lengthy enough to credit the cast. Most series today have brief segments featuring only the title and the creators’ names, but there are still a few, like 30 Rockand The Office, thatmanage to fit all the actors’ names in too. Kind of gives me a new appreciation for these shows, like they’re upholding the integrity of the theme song, carrying on the tradition and all that jazz.
Remember the old days when sitcom intros explained the premise to you? Such as, “Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale / A tale of a fateful trip / That started on this tropic port / Aboard this tiny ship.” It explained the whole show to you. The song not only sums up why these random people are on a desert island together, it also goes on to name every character as it credits the actors, so the audience gets a formal introduction to each castaway (well, except for the first season, when the Professor and Mary Ann were merely "the rest").
Or how about, “Come and listen to my story ‘bout a man named Jed / A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed / And then one day he was shooting at some food / And up through the ground come a bubblin’ crude”? So right away, on the audience’s first viewing, they understand why hicks like the Clampetts are living in a mansion in Beverly Hills, clearly out of their element. (Here's a link.)
I guess theme songs used to be more important then than they are now. From the beginning of television until the end of the sixties, the theme song dial had two settings—instrumental and “tell the story.”
Probably one of the most famous “tell the story” TV openings was on The Brady Bunch. “Here’s the story / Of a lovely lady / Who was bringing up three very lovely girls…” The fact that the Bradys were a mixed family was never spoken of after episode one, but viewers always had the theme song to remind them.
And who doesn’t love the beginning of Green Acres, another classic “tell the story”theme? Duh-dut-duh dah dah, the chores! Duh-dut-duh dah dah, the stores!
But these days, sitcoms don’t require the extra storytelling element that song lyrics and clips from the show provide. Traditional theme songs have mostly been kicked to the curb because time is limited.
The first time it really hit me that opening credits were getting shorter, I was watching a short-lived ABC sitcom called Odd Man Out, starring Erik von Detten. The intro showed von Detten standing by himself and suddenly being encircled by the show’s female characters (‘cause he’s the “odd man out,” you see). From start to finish, the thing was fifteen seconds long. And there wasn’t anyone singing words; it was a guy going “Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.” I thought, “My goodness, that was the crappiest theme song I’ve ever seen!” It was 1999 – the beginning of the end.
Maybe I’ve just always had an unnatural affection for theme songs. I'm almost ashamed to say it, but there was a time when if I had missed the first minute of Who’s the Boss?, I wouldn’t even bother watching the episode. “Brand New Life,” paired with those cute clips of Tony Danza and Judith Light, was my favorite part of the show. (I've realized since that the actual episodes are way cuter than the theme song.)
But intros are more than just music and clips. Today’s sitcoms, with their short, lyric-less themes, are missing out on a chance to make history. What TV fan will ever forget the classic image of Mary Tyler Moore tossing her tam in a Minneapolis intersection? And who doesn't recognize the hook from the theme song to Friends? Are any of today's theme songs long enough to be memorable?
Okay. I admit. How I Met Your Mother’s theme song is insanely catchy. And it’s only 12 seconds long.
So maybe I’m overreacting.
Maybe.
I guess I can't blame sitcoms for ditching the theme song motif. They need all the time they can get. Still, I miss the little tykes. The scenes made me smile, and I’d rather have joy than more advertisements any day! But you can’t fight progress. So, as we say goodbye to the theme song era, let us take a moment to bow our heads and listen to one of my favorites—Welcome Back, Kotter. An ironic farewell indeed…
